Bullsh*t-Proof Hiring: Why Emotional Intelligence and Intuition Are the Real MVPs in the Hiring Process

By Dr. Tomi Mitchell Physician | Executive Wellness & Leadership Strategist | Founder, Holistic Wellness Strategies

Attention CEOs, Hiring Managers & HR Sweethearts: You’re Probably Being Played

Let’s drop the pleasantries and get real.

You’ve reviewed resumes that read like the Gospel of Professionalism. You’ve interviewed candidates who nod just right, pause dramatically to show thoughtfulness, smile without showing desperation, and say things like, “My greatest weakness? I work too hard.”

You’ve hired them. You celebrated them. Maybe even bragged about them.

And then?

Ninety days in, they turned into someone else entirely. Suddenly, the team player becomes passive-aggressive. The punctual princess is now chronically late. That charismatic culture-fit? Low-key energy vampire. And now you’re stuck navigating toxicity with HR policies that read like a choose-your-own-disaster.

Welcome to the modern workplace, where charm, ChatGPT, and cover letter consultants can make almost anyone look good.

But here’s what they can’t fake—at least not for long: emotional intelligence and intuition.

What Is Emotional Intelligence, Anyway?

Glad you asked. Because this buzzword gets thrown around like a beach ball at a company picnic, but few grasp its full weight, let alone wield it properly.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to:

• Recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions

• Recognize, understand, and influence the feelings of others

  
  

In simpler terms? It’s the difference between reacting and responding. Between listening and waiting to talk. Between leading and controlling. Between blowing up and building trust.

A study by TalentSmart revealed that 90% of top corporate performers have high EI, while only 20% of low performers do. That’s not fluff. That’s hard evidence pointing to one clear truth: EI isn’t a soft skill. It’s a core competency.

And for me? Emotional intelligence is my BS detector. My gut filter. My secret sauce is leadership, team building, and hiring.

So, before you onboard another polished mannequin in a great blazer with a covert mission to derail morale, let’s talk about how to armour up.

The 5 Non-Negotiables for Hiring with Emotional Intelligence (aka How Not to Get Played)

Before we dive in, let me clarify: this isn’t about becoming a cynic. It’s about becoming a conscious, emotionally intelligent decision-maker who is tired of wasting time, money, and mental peace on the wrong people.

This is about hiring with your eyes open and your intuition sharpened.

1. Trust Your Gut—It’s Built for a Reason

You know that subtle, unshakable feeling when something seems off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? That’s not paranoia. That’s neuroscience.

Your gut isn’t just where digestion happens. It’s where one of the most complex neural networks in your body resides—the enteric nervous system. The gut-brain axis communicates directly with your brain, delivering real-time signals of discomfort, threat, or incongruence.

Ignore it at your peril.

When I’ve bypassed my gut, I’ve paid the price. And chances are, so have you. That charismatic candidate who “felt a little too polished”? Later revealed themselves to be a master manipulators with a grudge against collaboration.

Red Flag Check: They say all the right things, sidestep accountability-based questions or deflect when asked about past missteps.

2. Look Past the 90-Day Performance Mask

Let me say it plainly:

The 90-day probation period? That’s a stage play. A curated audition. A sanitized version of who someone wants you to believe they are.

Because anyone can fake excellence for a short stint, especially when the stakes are high and the benefits are juicy.

But once they settle in, the mask begins to slip.

You’ll notice:

• Team morale mysteriously drops

• Meetings suddenly feel like energy black holes

• You start getting quiet “can I run something by you?” emails

• You replay their interview and wonder, How did I miss this?

  
  

You didn’t. Your gut didn’t. You just chose optimism over instinct. And that’s the trap we fall into when prioritizing polish over presence.

3. Ask Questions That Expose the Ego

We’ve all asked—and heard—the usual prompts:

“Tell me about a time you faced a challenge.”

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Yawn.

These are not questions. They’re performance cues.

If you want to uncover emotional intelligence, ask questions that put their ego under gentle pressure:

• “What would your former teammate say was the hardest part of working with you?”

• “How do you typically respond to feedback that feels unfair?”

• “Tell me about a time you were at fault. What did you do next?”

  
  

You’ll learn more in two minutes of honest discomfort than in 20 minutes of canned stories.

Green Flag: They acknowledge factual mistakes—and more importantly, show what they learned. That’s emotional maturity. That’s a growth mindset. That’s someone worth building with.

4. Notice How They Treat Your Non-Decision Makers

Want to know who someone is? Watch what happens when no one’s watching.

Do they smile at your receptionist or breeze past with entitlement? Do they speak respectfully to the intern or subtly dismiss them?

Because here’s the truth: emotional intelligence isn’t just about how you treat the CEO. It’s about how you treat everyone.

If their warmth is selective, so is their integrity.

Pro Tip: Don’t just ask executives for references. Ask former assistants, coordinators, or interns. They’ll give you the scoop because they saw the unfiltered version.

5. Ask Yourself: Can I Grow This Person?

Here’s the golden rule I wish more leaders followed: Hire for character. Train for skill.

Skills can be taught. Tools can be mastered. AI can fill in the technical gaps. But character? That’s foundational. And far harder to retrofit.

Ask yourself:

• Do they take feedback without folding or fighting?

• Do they own their mistakes—or craft excuses?

• Can they work with people younger, faster, or more innovative than they are without becoming defensive?

  
  

If the answer is no, don’t bring them in—no matter how good their Excel pivot tables are.

What This Has Taught Me as a Leader

I’ve hired gems. I’ve hired duds. I’ve been wowed by talent that sparkled under pressure, and stunned by charisma that collapsed the moment it was questioned.

Looking back, the difference always came down to:

• How tuned in I was to my gut

• How brave I was in asking uncomfortable questions

• How willing I was to hire slow and fire fast when the red flags revealed themselves

  
  

And yes, the wrong hires have cost me. Time. Money. Sleep. Team cohesion. My peace of mind.

I now teach leaders to lead with insight, not just intellect. To feel the room, not just fill the role.

Final Thoughts: Stop Getting Played in the Hiring Game

This isn’t a rant. It’s a rally cry.

You don’t need more tools. You don’t need more extended interviews. What you need is:

• To trust your gut.

• To sharpen your ability to read people.

• To prioritize character over credentials.

  
  

Because the best resumes are curated and the best interviews are coached. But the best hires? They’re real. They’re self-aware. They know how to admit fault, receive feedback, and build trust.

And none of that can be faked—not for long.

But let me say this, from one leader to another: You can’t sharpen your intuition if you’re exhausted. You can’t grow emotionally intelligent teams if your emotional wellness is on life support.

So, if you’re feeling foggy, burned out, or unsure about your leadership, start with yourself. Clear-minded, emotionally grounded leaders make sharper calls and healthier hires.

At Holistic Wellness Strategies, we offer three tiers of support—Silver, Gold, and Platinum—to meet you and your team where you are. Whether you need to reset your leadership, elevate your team’s culture, or stop toxicity before it takes root, we’ve got you covered.

👉 Book a confidential strategy call here. Let’s design a brighter, more emotionally intelligent future for you and everyone who depends on your leadership.

Because it starts with us.

And the better we get at reading people, the better our organizations will become.

With love, clarity, and real talk,

Dr. Tomi Mitchell