There’s a moment in life where you realize something important—that the approval you’ve been chasing from others isn’t what really matters. It’s a lot like flipping a switch in a dimly lit room;
suddenly, everything becomes clearer and more meaningful. I’ve been there—spending years
trying to make everyone else happy, losing myself along the way. I was constantly working to
meet expectations that weren’t even my own, and it left me feeling drained and disconnected.
But the moment I turned my focus toward what truly mattered to me, everything shifted.
The Weight of People Pleasing
People pleasing is something many of us fall into without even realizing it. We grow so accustomed to relying on external validation that we start losing sight of our own values,
dreams, and desires. I can still remember how hurtful words used to cut so deep, criticism that
wasn’t even rooted in truth would derail me, making me question my choices. The more I tried to
keep others happy, the further I drifted from my own purpose.
But here’s something I’ve learned: those who are quick to judge, to criticize, to tear you down,
are often not the ones who matter. They usually haven’t taken the same risks or pushed toward
the same goals. In many cases, they’re simply feeding off negativity. These are not the people
whose opinions should define you.
The Power of Purpose
What happens when you turn your focus inward, from people-pleasing to purpose-pleasing?
Everything changes. You become the source of your own validation, and in doing so, you
develop a kind of resilience that no external validation can ever provide.
Once I started focusing more on what I thought, rather than what others thought, I developed a
kind of emotional armor. Those sharp words and judgments didn’t cut as deeply as they once
had. Instead of letting someone else’s opinion derail me, I began to stay true to what mattered
most: my goals, my dreams, my purpose.
It’s not that hurtful words never sting—of course they do. But when you’ve built a foundation of
self-compassion and appreciation for your own journey, those words lose their power. You
begin to realize that everyone is a work in progress, and the opinions of others? They don’t
define you.
The Shift: From External Validation to Inner Strength
The shift from people pleasing to purpose pleasing is a powerful one. It’s about letting go of the
constant need for external approval and instead building your own sense of inner strength. It’s
about aligning your actions with what truly matters to you, not the expectations of everyone else.
And here’s the thing: when you’re focused on your own purpose, the noise of other people’s
opinions begins to fade away.
It’s an incredible feeling to realize that the only approval you really need is your own. Of course,
having supportive people in your life is important, but at the end of the day, you should be your
biggest source of validation.
The Elite 3%
Here’s something powerful to remember: if you’re someone who sets goals and actively works
toward them, you’re already in an elite group—the top 3%. Most people don’t take the time to
truly define their goals, let alone write them down and follow through. If you’re driven by
purpose, you’re part of a small and powerful minority. This shift—from people pleasing to
purpose pleasing—sets you apart. It’s what will carry you through the inevitable setbacks and
challenges along the way.
Embrace Your Purpose
I invite you to pause and reflect on the relentless chase for approval from others. Ask yourself
what really matters to you. What are your goals? What motivates you? When you center your
attention on your purpose, the chatter of other people's opinions begins to fade. You can
channel your energy into what truly matters, allowing you to move forward with clarity and a
sense of fulfillment.
The journey from people-pleasing to purpose-pleasing isn’t always easy, but it’s deeply
rewarding. You’ll find that as you tune into your own values, you’ll develop a thicker skin, a
stronger sense of self, and a deeper belief in your potential. So, let go of the need to be
validated by others. Instead, pour your energy into pursuing what really lights you up.
At the end of the day, remember this: you’re a work in progress, and the only person you truly
need to please is yourself.
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