Burnout: What It Really Feels Like — And How We Rise From It

Burnout.

People use the word so casually now. It’s become part of everyday language, as if it simply means being “tired,” needing a weekend off, or craving a getaway.

But no.

Burnout is not tired.

Burnout is not “a little overwhelmed.”

Burnout cannot be solved with a scented candle, a vacation, or a mindfulness app.

Burnout feels like free-fall — drifting through space with no gravity, no bearings, and no way to anchor yourself.

It’s the sensation of floating in quiet darkness, reaching out for something — anything — familiar, and finding nothing but silence.

At first, there’s confusion. Then frustration. Then anger. And finally, the cruellest phase of all: apathy.

Apathy is when you stop caring, not because you want to, but because your capacity to care has been exhausted. It’s when joy disappears. When everything that used to bring colour, meaning, or energy feels muted or irrelevant. Even hope feels like lifting a weight that’s too heavy to hold.

I know this feeling intimately. Burnout was the soul-sucking, energy-draining, identity-blurring fog that ultimately led me to write my book, The Soul-Sucking, Energy-Draining Life of a Physician: How to Live a Life of Service Without Losing Yourself.

I didn’t write that book from a place of serenity, surrounded by lavender fields or sipping herbal tea in a spa.

I wrote it from the trenches — when my nervous system was frayed, my soul bruised, and my passion for healing others felt like it was slipping through my hands.

No physician, no caregiver, no leader, and no human being should ever have to reach that edge.

And yet, so many do.

So let’s talk about what burnout really feels like — and more importantly, how we rise from it.

The Emotional Texture of Burnout

Burnout isn’t simple fatigue.

It’s emotional erosion — a slow wearing away of your sense of self.

It starts as pressure. Then it becomes depletion. And eventually, it becomes numbness.

It can look like:

• Waking up already tired.

• Staring at your calendar and feeling dread instead of purpose.

• Crying over small things but feeling nothing over big things.

• Caring about everyone and nothing at the same time.

• Feeling constantly on edge — or completely detached.

• Living life on autopilot, as if it’s happening to you, not with you.

• Feeling like your brain is buffering, slow to respond, as if submerged underwater.

And perhaps the scariest part?

You forget who you are.

You forget your spark.

Your curiosity.

Your confidence.

Your joy.

That wise inner voice that once guided you becomes barely a whisper.

Burnout is not mere exhaustion. It’s the temporary death of self-connection — the fading of your relationship with your own essence.

The WHO Definition — And Why It’s Not Enough

The World Health Organization defines burnout as:

“A syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed, characterized by energy depletion, increased mental distance from one’s job, and reduced professional efficacy.”

It’s a valuable starting point.

But it’s incomplete.

Because burnout doesn’t confine itself to workplaces or job descriptions, it’s not a condition reserved for professionals with employee IDs or corner offices.

Burnout can emerge from:

• Chronic stress and emotional labour

• Parenting or caregiving without adequate support

• Ongoing trauma exposure

• Relationship tension or disconnection

• Social isolation

• Unrealistic societal and personal expectations

• Suppressing your truth for too long

• Living in environments that demand more than they give

• Losing your sense of meaning or belonging

If we define burnout solely through the lens of work, we miss the stay-at-home parents, entrepreneurs, students, advocates, high-functioning women carrying invisible burdens, and healers who can’t find space to heal themselves.

Burnout is not an HR issue. It is a human one.

It’s not a productivity failure; it’s a misalignment — a collapse in your emotional, mental, physical, and relational ecosystem.

That’s why quick fixes don’t work. Because what’s broken isn’t just your schedule — it’s your connection to yourself, your purpose, and your relationships.

Healing burnout isn’t about “recharging.”

It’s about realigning.

The Science of Burnout: When the Nervous System Collapses

At its core, burnout is the body’s biological response to prolonged imbalance. It’s your nervous system stuck in survival mode, long after the danger should have passed.

Here’s what happens physiologically:

• Chronic cortisol → eventually turns into a cortisol crash

• High adrenaline → becomes numbness and depletion

• Sympathetic dominance → fight, flight, or freeze becomes your norm

• Reduced dopamine & serotonin → the “nothing feels good” syndrome

• Inflammation → physical pain, tension, headaches, gut disruption

• Cognitive fatigue → difficulty concentrating, memory issues

Your brain isn’t betraying you.

It’s protecting you — by shutting down non-essential systems in an attempt to survive.

You are not lazy.

You are not weak.

You are overwhelmed at a biological level.

No human being, no matter how capable or determined, can outrun chronic stress indefinitely.

Eventually, the body enforces a pause.

This is why telling someone to “just rest” is both misguided and cruel.

Rest cannot repair burnout if your life remains misaligned.

Rest without realignment is just temporary relief.

The Anatomy of Alignment™: The Three-Legged Stool

You don’t collapse because you’re weak.

You collapse when too much weight is placed on a structure that has lost its balance.

That’s where my Anatomy of Alignment™ framework comes in — the Three-Legged Stool model.

Imagine your life resting on three legs:

Leg 1: Relationship With Self

This leg includes your identity, health, energy, boundaries, and inner voice.

When it weakens, you experience:

• Self-neglect

• Emotional numbness

• Loss of identity

• Depleted confidence

• Survival mode as a way of life

Leg 2: Relationship With Your Significant Other

This is your romantic or primary emotional partner.

When this leg is strained, you feel:

• Disconnection and irritability

• Emotional withdrawal

• Feeling unsupported or unable to support

• Resentment and guilt

Leg 3: Relationship With Your Confidence Circle

Your inner circle — friends, family, community, peers, and trusted confidants.

When this leg falters, it shows up as:

• Isolation and overfunctioning alone

• Shame about struggling

• Feeling misunderstood or unseen

• The loss of your “village”

Now, picture trying to sit on a stool with one shaky leg. You wobble. Two? You fall. All three? You collapse.

That’s burnout — not a fleeting mood, but a complete structural collapse of connection and support.

Healing, then, is about rebuilding those legs through intentional, compassionate realignment — not hustling harder.

Burnout From My Lens: Beyond the Textbook

The WHO can define burnout clinically, but let me define it as someone who has lived it:

Burnout feels like slowly vanishing from your own life.

It’s like watching yourself go through the motions — detached, robotic, muted.

It feels like:

• Knowing something is wrong but having no energy to fix it

• Feeling emotions in faded tones instead of full colour

• Bracing for an impact that never comes

• Wanting rest but never feeling restored

• Mourning the version of yourself that felt alive, engaged, and whole

Burnout is your soul whispering, “I am tired,” louder than your body ever could.

It’s not just a biological collapse — it’s existential.

It’s your body saying, “This pace dishonours me.”

Your heart is saying, “This environment doesn’t feed me.”

Your soul is saying, “I miss myself.”

So How Do We Heal?

You don’t heal by hustling harder or pushing through.

You heal by redefining what strength means.

True strength is not in endurance — it’s in alignment.

It’s in pausing. Reassessing. Choosing differently.

Real recovery requires more than rest. It requires reconstruction.

The Core Pillars of Burnout Recovery

• Nervous System Regulation: Learn to Calm Your Body Before You Heal Your Mind.

• Identity Reconnection: Reacquaint yourself with who you are beneath the roles.

• Real Rest: Sleep helps your body; soul rest restores your essence.

• Permission to Slow Down: Stop Glorifying Exhaustion as Proof of Worth.

• Relearning Joy: Find pleasure in small things again.

• Boundaries That Protect Energy: Time is essential, but energy is sacred.

• Rebuilding Your Support Stool: Restore healthy relationships with yourself, your partner, and your circle.

• Purpose Rediscovery: Redefine your calling in ways that are sustainable and life-giving.

Healing burnout isn’t about returning to the “old you.”

It’s about emerging as a wiser, more grounded, more whole version of yourself.

Burnout strips away illusions.

Healing rebuilds truth — and this time, with stronger roots.

The Gift Behind Burnout (Yes, There Is One)

Burnout is not a failure. It’s a message — a sacred, uncomfortable one.

It’s the body’s way of saying: “You can’t keep living like this.”

It’s your soul’s way of asking for a course correction.

Burnout says:

• You deserve better.

• Your body is asking for peace.

• Your heart is craving nourishment.

• Your purpose doesn’t have to cost you your well-being.

• You are meant to live, not just function.

My own burnout broke me open — but it also rebuilt me into someone stronger, softer, and more aligned.

I no longer equate sacrifice with success.

I no longer confuse exhaustion with purpose.

I no longer perform martyrdom in the name of service.

Now, I choose alignment.

I choose joy.

I choose wholeness.

And I teach others to do the same.

Closing: You Don’t Heal Burnout Alone

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This feels like me…”

know this: you are not alone, and you are not broken.

You are tired — not defeated.

You are overwhelmed — not weak.

You are in transition — not failing.

Burnout is not the end of your story. It’s the turning point.

It’s an invitation to rebuild differently.

At Holistic Wellness Strategies, I help leaders, professionals, and purpose-driven humans reconnect with themselves — without sacrificing their health, joy, or relationships.

Your life isn’t meant to be drained.

It’s meant to be lived. Loved. Lifted.

You can rise — softer, wiser, stronger.

And when you do, you’ll see that burnout wasn’t your downfall.

It was your awakening.

➡️ Grab your copy of my book, The Soul-Sucking, Energy-Draining Life of a Physician, now on Amazon.

Disclaimer

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition. Always seek guidance from your qualified healthcare provider about your health.

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© 2025 Dr. Tomi Mitchell / Holistic Wellness Strategies. All rights reserved.

This document and its contents are the intellectual property of Dr. Tomi Mitchell / Holistic Wellness Strategies and may not be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any form without express written consent.