Embrace the Pause: Turning Menopause Into a Superpower

By Dr. Tomi Mitchell

Let’s talk about the pause.

Not the polite pause you take before replying to a snarky comment. Not the deep breath you gather before making a big decision that might change everything. Not even the dramatic pause before a perfectly timed mic drop.

I mean the pause that sneaks into every woman’s life eventually—the one that too often gets brushed aside, joked about, or spoken about only in hushed tones: menopause.

It’s not an illness to treat or a sentence to serve. It’s not a signal that you’re “done” or “less than.” It’s a decisive biological shift, as natural as puberty—but somehow still treated like an awkward secret instead of a chapter worth honouring.

The truth? The real disorder isn’t menopause itself. It’s how society talks about it—or, more often, doesn’t. It’s the lack of preparation, the lack of honest conversation, and the lack of support for those navigating this transition.

It’s time to change that.

Menopause Is a Transition, Not a Sentence

Let’s bust one of the oldest myths right away: menopause is not the end of womanhood, femininity, vitality, or relevance.

For some, it does come with a bittersweet edge—especially if it marks the final chapter in dreams of having children. For others, it’s a long-awaited liberation: goodbye to monthly cycles, cramps, and that low-level hum of “Could I be pregnant?” anxiety.

Either way, this is not a door slamming shut on your worth. It’s a shift—one that starts earlier than most realize.

Biologically, menopause is marked by the permanent cessation of menstrual periods, typically confirmed after 12 consecutive months without one. But the hormonal and emotional journey begins long before that—often years earlier—in what’s known as perimenopause.

And let’s be honest, that journey is rarely smooth sailing. It’s often a wild, hormone-fueled rollercoaster of:

• Hot flashes and night sweats arrive like uninvited guests.

• Mood swings that make you wonder if someone’s been tampering with your thermostat and your emotions.

• Brain fog that sends you into a room only to wonder why you’re there.

• Sleep disturbances that have you staring at the ceiling at 3 a.m.

• Vaginal dryness or discomfort that no one warned you about in health class.

• Fatigue that lingers even after what should have been a “good” night’s rest.

• And yes—occasional tears over commercials that aren’t even sad.

These aren’t signs of weakness. They’re the tangible effects of shifting hormones, neurotransmitters, and changes in how your body processes stress.

Filter? What Filter?

One of menopause’s most surprising traits? The “loss of the filter.”

That quiet inner voice that used to caution, Maybe don’t say that—suddenly, it’s taking a sabbatical. And while that might sound reckless, it can actually be freeing.

It’s the unfiltered truth.

Clarity without apology.

Leadership without shrinking.

There’s a boldness that surfaces here. A knowing that comes from decades of lived experience. It’s the kind of confidence that doesn’t ask for permission. That is not a side effect—it’s a gift.

But Let’s Also Get Real: It’s Not Always Empowering

Now, while I’m all for celebrating the superpowers of menopause, let’s not paint over the more complex realities.

Some days your body can feel foreign. You might eat the same way you always have, but the scale doesn’t agree. You might sleep, but wake up feeling like you’ve pulled an all-nighter. You might lose track of your thoughts mid-sentence—more than once in a meeting.

And yes, there are moments when it feels like betrayal—like your body didn’t get the memo about how resilient, healthy, and evolved you should be by now.

That’s when grace becomes essential.

You don’t have to “soldier through” every day. You can claim rest without guilt. You can ask for help. You can say, “I need space today” and mean it. Because strength isn’t just the grit to push forward—it’s the wisdom to know when to pause.

Do You Love This Version of Yourself?

Here’s a question worth asking: Do you love this version of yourself?

Not the younger you. Not the “ideal” you’re still working toward—the now you—the one navigating change while still showing up for life.

Think about it. This current version of you has likely:

• Learned to say “no” without spiralling into guilt.

• Walked away from people and situations that drained you.

• Spoken up in rooms where others stayed silent.

• Weathered heartbreak, disappointment, or loss—and kept going.

• Rebuilt after seasons that felt like rock bottom.

• Laughed, cried, and maybe even danced in the kitchen at 2 a.m.

• Showed up for others when you could barely stand yourself.

She’s not perfect, but she earned her place in the mirror. And she’s worthy of love now, not someday.

The Career Shift: This Isn’t the Wind-Down Phase

One of the most significant societal missteps is treating midlife as the professional slow fade as if menopause should signal more minor roles, quieter ambitions, and less space at the table.

In reality, this phase often coincides with a peak in professional capacity. The kids may be grown or more independent. The endless “prove yourself” years are behind you. And now? You bring wisdom, perspective, and emotional intelligence that no classroom can teach.

This is not the time to shrink. This is the time to:

• Ask for the raise.

• Apply for the leadership role.

• Launch the business you’ve been dreaming about.

• Mentor the next generation.

• Speak louder, not softer.

If anything, menopause can sharpen your professional presence. You’ve earned every stripe—you just have to decide to wear them proudly.

Screenings, Health, and Living Longer: Rethinking the Rules

Here’s another outdated script: life naturally winds down after 65, so preventative care should taper off, too.

We’re living longer—and many are living better—than ever. Vitality into your 80s or 90s is not unrealistic if you take a proactive approach now. That means rethinking the one-size-fits-all guidelines and personalizing your health strategy.

Don’t let a chart decide when you stop advocating for yourself. Talk with your healthcare provider about screenings based on your history, not just your age. Pay attention to the inner nudge that says, “Something feels off.”

You have permission to:

• Request more frequent or earlier screenings if your history warrants it.

• Seek a second opinion if something is dismissed.

• Advocate for both your physical and mental health with equal urgency.

Your quality of life decades from now is shaped by your choices today.

Embracing Change While Holding Compassion

Here’s the truth: menopause isn’t one experience—it’s millions.

Some people breeze through with minimal symptoms. The intensity blindsides others. Some feel invisible; others feel unstoppable. Some mourn the chapter's closing; others feel like they’ve finally been handed the pen to write their own.

All of these reactions are valid. All deserve compassion.

That’s why support during menopause has to be as diverse as the experiences themselves. What works for one person—hormone replacement therapy, acupuncture, dietary changes, or therapy—may not work for another.

It’s not a failure to need something different. It’s simply being human.

Rethinking the Word “Menopausal”

I get it—“menopausal” isn’t everyone’s favourite word. For some, it feels loaded with stigma. For others, it’s reductive.

But here’s the paradox: avoiding the word can feed the stigma, while naming it can be an act of power.

By saying, “Yes, I’m in menopause,” you take away the hush-hush whisper and replace it with matter-of-fact truth. Whether you call it transitioning, hormone shifting, or simply the next chapter, the critical part is this: you deserve informed care, understanding from others, and self-compassion.

And yes, the healthcare system still has to catch up 

From Pause to Power: A New Narrative

What if we saw menopause as the start of our most authentic chapter?

The chapter where you:

• Refuse to fake-smile your way through discomfort

• Drop the “low maintenance” act and own your needs

• Rest without guilt and rise without apology

• Laugh louder, cry without shame, and live more fully

• Build the life and legacy you want

This pause is not a dead end. It’s a recalibration. A realignment. A deep breath before a powerful exhale.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve a High-Quality Life for Decades to Come

This conversation is not about survival. It’s about intention. It’s about refusing to fade quietly into the background.

Health is not the absence of illness—it’s the presence of vitality, connection, and self-respect. It’s about saying, “I matter,” and reinforcing that with action.

Whether you’re anticipating menopause, in the thick of it, or decades past it, remember:

You are not alone.

You are not “past your prime.”

You are allowed—right now—to love this version of yourself.

So pause if you need to. Rest if you must. But don’t quit.

Your story isn’t ending. In many ways, it’s just getting good.